Here are a few things that haven’t happened:
- No one’s marriage is in shambles
- Nobody is broke or in financial jeopardy
- Nether of our houses have been foreclosed on
- No one is crazy lazy
- Everyone has a good job
- Basically none of the reasons you normally hear why kids move in with their parents or parents move in with their kids.
We just like each other a whole bunch.
This is a living arrangement we’ve had before. Twice actually. Once while we were in Tennessee we had Kathy, Bekah’s mom, live with us while she worked and Bekah’s dad, Brian, tried to find a job close by.
Nothing ever materialized so they ended up moving to Missouri where they both found work for several years, which was six hours closer to us than their previous home in Michigan.
Then Bekah and I moved to San Antonio and jobs for both Brian and Kathy opened up very quickly. They moved into our 3 bedroom two bath home while they looked for their own place. For six months we were together and it was great. We ate meals all together. We played. We lived life.
Then they found a home to lease five minutes away and moved out right at the time our third daughter needed to move into the room they had called their own.
And for a year and a half we lived this way. Brian and Kathy were at our house for meals five days a week. We played. We lived life, but not quite together. Separate homes meant “nana” and “papa” left everyday. It made for fun sleepovers, but not quite for living life together.
Then Brian and Kathy started looking for a home to buy. In the current market, what they thought they could get for a certain amount wasn’t quite what they see looking for.
So we started talking about buying a home together. All of us. In one house. We rise our price range and tempered our expectations and were actually very pleased with what that got us looking at.
We found our home rather quickly in hindsight. A great house four miles from where Bekah and I lived and two miles from Brian and Kathy’s leased house.
We prayed. We offered. We moved in.
Since April we’ve lived in the same house all together. Brian and Kathy get the master suite so they can have their own space and get some sense of calm away from the kids if they need.
Bekah and I and the girls all share a big bathroom. Sophie and Penny share a room, Ruth has her own (for now) and Bekah and I claimed the last one.
Four bedrooms, two and half baths, a trampoline and an above ground pool for seven people.
It’s been a fun journey. Our sorrows have been greater when they come, but so have our joys.
Bekah and I made the decision to move in before our current house went on the market, which turned out to be a huge blessing as I’m typing this with a broken but recently surgically repaired ankle. If we had waited our workload would have been exponentially greater.
Our house is now on the market thanks to the help of many good friends and, you guessed it, Bekah and her parents.
Now we’re getting settled. instead of having to come over to another house to help with my bum ankle, Brian and Kathy are just here. It’s made me being laid up on the couch less difficult for the rest of the family.
So now two of us get up to go to work every morning and the other two go to work only when they are scheuduled. The kids have mom and dad and nana and papa to love on them and bring them up.
Everyone calls me brave for moving in with my in laws. That’s not the case. They’re wonderful Christian people whom I’m honored to have shaping the lives of my girls.
I’m not the brave one. Imagine moving in with your grandkids who go to kindergarten and wake up in the middle of the night still when all of your babies are married with kids of their own?
Plus, this way I get another guy in the house. Brian and I every now and then get to fix stuff and saw things and share tools and try to figure out how a car door comes apart. Not a bad gig.
My mom swears this arrangement would wear her out. She doesn’t feel left out, especially after a week long visit to our crazy farm, which she does often.
Bekah’s brother and sister both live close to their spouse’s family, so no one feels cheated there.
We aren’t broke or desperate or crazy.
We just really enjoy living under one roof.
Call us brave.